Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive
Chapter 7
The Four Streams: Receiving God's Intimate Counsel
Key Verse: They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. -- God (Jeremiah 6:14)
Let us beware of tinkering with our inner life. -- A. W. Tozer
Pages 110-112 recount Aslan’s conversation with Shasta from A Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis and how Aslan (who is a Christ figure) interceded throughout the boys life. When he asked about Aravis, another character in the story. Aslan replies, “I am telling you your story, not hers.”
OUR STORY
… If you stop to think of it, your heart has lived through quite a story thus far. And over the course of that story your heart has learned many things. Some of what you learned is true; much of it is not. Not when it comes to the core questions about your heart and the heart of God. Is your heart good? Does your heart really matter? What has life taught you about that? Imagine for a moment that God is walking softly beside you. You sense his presence, feel his warm breath. He says, “Tell me your sorrows.” What would you say in reply? (Page 112)
???—What WOULD you say in reply???
“And I will ask the Father; and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of Truth” [Jesus] (John 14:16-17) Come again? How would you feel if your spouse or a friend said to you, “I think you need some counseling, and so I’ve arranged for it. You start tomorrow. It’ll probably take ten years”? I’ve got five bucks that says you’d get more than a little defensive. The combination of our pride—I don’t need any therapy, thank you very much—and the fact that it’s become a profession—Freud and Prozac and all that-has kept most of us from realizing that, in fact, we do need counseling. All of us. Jesus sends us his Spirit as Counselor; that ought to make it clear. In fact, we apparently need quite a lot of counsel—the Spirit isn’t just stopping in to give us a tune-up; not even an annual check up. He has come to stay. (Pages 112-113)
???—How do you respond to the statement that we all need counseling—on an on-going basis???
Remember, the purpose of this thing called the Christian life is that our hearts might be restored and set free. That’s the deal. That’s what Jesus came to do, by his own announcement. Jesus want Life for us, Life with a capital L, and that Life comes to us through our hearts. But restoring and releasing the heart is no easy project. God doesn’t just throw a switch and poof—it’s done. He sends his Counselor to walk with us instead. That tells us it’s going to be a process. All sorts of damage has been done to your heart over the years, all sorts of terrible things taken in—by sin, by those who should have known better, and by our Enemy, who weeks to steal and kill and destroy the image bearers of God. At best, “hope deferred makes the heart sick.” (Prov. 13:12). Certainly, there’s been a bit of that in your life. “Even in laughter the heart may ache” (Prov. 14:13), which is to say, things may look fine on the outside, but inside it’s another story. Page (113)
???—Why do you suppose that God has made the transformation of our hearts a “process” rather than a “poof-it’s done” event???
We’re told to “trust in the Lord” with all our hearts (Prov. 3:5), but frankly, we find it hard to do. Does trust come easily for you? I would love to trust God wholeheartedly. Why is it almost second nature to worry about things? We’re told to love one another deeply, “from the heart” ( 1 Peter 1:22), but that’s even more rare. Why is it so easy to get angry at, or to resent, or simply to grow indifferent toward the very people we once loved? The answers lie down in the heart. “For it is with your heart that you believe,” Paul says (Romans 10:10). And in Proverbs we read, “The heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out.” (20:5 NASB) Our deepest convictions—the ones that really shape our lives—they are down there somewhere in the depths of our hearts. (Page 113)
???—Do you find it easy or difficult to trust God wholeheartedly? Why???
You see, we don’t really develop our convictions so much as they develop within us, when we are young. Down deep, in the inmost part they form, down in deep water, like the shifting of the continental plates. Certainly, we’d reject the more disabling beliefs if we could; but they form when we are vulnerable, without our really knowing it, like a handprint in wet cement, and over time the cement hardens and there you have it. Think of it this way: Have you always known down deep inside, down to the tips of your toes, that your heart is good and that your heart matters to God? Me neither. No, what we’ve come to believe about those ultimate issues was handed to us early on, in most cases by our families. (Page 114)
???—How do you respond to Eldredge’s contention that we have been given our convictions when we were young—by our families in most cases—and that they have led us astray???
ASSAULTED FROM OUR YOUTH
Eldredge recounts the story of Joseph and his dreams and how his brothers hated him for it from Genesis 37, and then writes, “Joseph stands out, as we were all meant to stand out, each in his or her own way. Instead of celebrating his glory, his brothers want to destroy it. A common story, I’m sorry to say. The worst blows typically come from family. That’s where we start our journey of the heart, and that’s where we are most vulnerable. What we learned from our parents and siblings about our heart defines us the rest of our days; it becomes the script we live out, for good or for ill. Cinderella’s father calls her ‘a little stunted kitchen wench which my late wife left behind’ and her stepmother sees her as ‘much too dirty, she cannot show herself!” What do you suppose she learned about her heart from growing up in that home? (Pages 114-115)
???—What did your parents and siblings overlay into your heart???
Eldredge goes on to recount three more examples of people being wounded by family—a girl named Abby, whose father who was aggravated by nearly everything she did, and even after she accepted the Lord still felt that there was something wrong with her; David, whose brother ridiculed him for wanting to defeat Goliath, and “Siegfried” a German mythological creature who was invincible except for a small place on his back between his shoulder blades—an uncle found the spot and murdered him. He concludes with these words: “Stabbed in the back. By family. Small wonder this tale has endured through time.” (Summary of Pages 115-117)
??? How do you respond to Eldredge’s contention that the deepest wounds are laid on us by our families of origin???
MISUNDERSTOOD
Eldredge reminds us that even Jesus endured this sort of assault, that the seemingly “innocent” arrows that come through “misunderstanding.”
After this, Jesus went around in Galilee, purposely staying away from Judea because the Jews there were waiting to take his life. But when the Jewish Feast of Tabernacles was near, Jesus’ brothers said to him, “You ought to leave here and go to Judea, so that your disciples may see the miracles you do. No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret. Since you are doing these things, show yourself to the world.” For even his own brothers did not believe in him. (John 7:1-5) I think we can relate to that. Did your family believe in you? Some did—but far too many more believe in the personthey wanted you to be. Did they even notice your heart at all? Have they been thrilled by your choices, or has their disappointment made it clear that you just aren’t what you’re supposed to be? At another point in his ministry, Jesus’ family shows up to collect him. “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you” (Luke 8:20) They think he’s lost it, and they’ve come to bring him home, poor man. Misunderstanding is damaging, more insidious because we don’t identify it as an attack on the heart. How subtly it comes, sowing doubt and discouragement where there should have been validation and support. There must be something wrong with us. (Page 117)
???—Did your family validate who you were, or try to get you to be who they wanted you to be???
Page 118 recounts ways that family members can damage our hearts, miss the shaping of them and affirming them, and tell us that we have no God-given glory. He asks what we have believed about our hearts? Then he says, “Those accusations you heard growing up, those core convictions that formed about your heart, will remain down there until someone comes to dislodge them, run them out of Dodge.
???—What accusations are you still carrying around in your heart???
THE WONDERFUL COUNSELOR
None of this was your fault.
On pages 119-120 Eldredge recounts how going “home” for a visit as an adult can bring back all the accusations and misunderstandings. During one such visit, he went to the neighborhood of his first girlfriend—who also broke his heart. There he sat in the car and cried. In that moment Jesus said, through the Counselor (the Holy Spirit) none of this was your fault. Then Eldredge points out that up to that point he didn’t realize that for all those years that he had believed that it was his fault. But deep down in his heart the conviction had grown that every negative thing had happened in his life because his heart was bad, that it was his fault. In that moment, that night something of his heart came free.
???—Have you ever had such a moment of recognition that your parents’ sins and many of the experiences of life that have broken your heart were NOT your fault???
ASK GOD
Eldredge recounts the story of Peter—first, how Peter must have known I have a special place in Jesus’ heart because of the special opportunities he had that the other disciples didn’t. He points out how devastating it must have been to Peter to have denied Jesus. Then he recounts Peter’s being “reinstated” by Jesus (John 21:15-17) then he writes, “What a beautiful story. Notice first that Christ does not let Peter sweep the whole matter under the rug. If this issue isn’t addressed, it will haunt the old fisherman for the rest of his life. A nagging guilt will make it hard to pray. That sense of Who are you kidding? Will be there every time Peter tries to tell others about Jesus. No, this must be spoken to. Most of us simply try to “put things behind us,” get past it, forget the pain as quickly as we can. Really—denial is a favorite method of copy for many Christians. But not with Jesus. He wants truth in the inmost being, and to get it there he’s got to take us into our inmost being. One way he’ll do this is by bring up an old memory. You’ll be driving down the road and suddenly remember something from your childhood. Or maybe you’ll have a dream about a long-forgotten person, event, or place. However he brings it up, go with him there. He has something to say to you.
Notice also that Jesus asks Peter the penetrating question three times—once for every betrayal. Peter is hurt by it, and that is the point. The lessons that have been laid down in pain can be accessed only by pain. Christ must open the wound, not just bandage over it… These are all invitations to go with him into the deep waters of the heart, uncover the lies buried down there, and bring in the truth that will set us free. Don’t just bury it quickly; ask God what he is wanting to speak to …There are two things we need to know maybe above all else. We need to know that our heart is good, and that our heart matters to God. I’ve found that for most folks, this is what’s been most assaulted; this is what we most doubt. We can’t just talk ourselves into this; Jesus must show us. He must take us there, as he did with Peter. So ask Him. Ask God to show you that your heart is good, and that you do matter to him. (Pages 121-122)
???—Do you know beyond any doubt that your heart is good and that your heart matter's to God???
THE HELP OF OTHERS
I want to be careful, lest I have painted a wrong picture here. This stream of Counseling doesn’t just flow to us directly from Christ, only from him. It flows through his people as well. We need others—and need them deeply. Yes, the Spirit was sent to be our Counselor. Yes, Jesus speaks to us personally. But often he works through another human being. The fact is, we are usually too close to our lives to see what’s going on. Because it’s our story we’re trying to understand, we sometimes don’t know what’s true or false, what’s real and imagined. We can’t see the forest for the trees. It often takes the eyes of someone to whom we can tell our story, bare our souls. The more dire our straits, the more difficult it can be to hear directly from God. (Pages 124-125)
???—How do you respond to Eldredge’s contention that the Counselor often doesn’t work directly, but through others???
Eldredge closes the chapter by telling of a graduate assistant who helped draw the “original glory” out of him, and then with the story of Abby, whose father was aggravated with her, and through the help of friends came to realize that she was a blessing and that she was “sunshine” to many others. The transformation has proceeded rapidly. This quote ends the chapter: “Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being” (Ps. 51:6 NASB) Getting it there is the work of the stream we’ll call Counseling—Receiving God’s Intimate Counsel. (Pg. 126-127)
???—Do you have someone(s), who helps you to get to the truth in your innermost being???