Who's In Charge Here? A Series on Authority
Thursday, February 5, 2004
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My Prayer Today
Dear God, I come to you this day to ask that you would help be to be a parent that honors you. I love my children and want them to grow up to serve and honor you. I ask that you would help me (and my spouse) to discipline them in a way that you approve of. May I do so with your love. May my children come to know the right way to go in life through my disciplinary actions. I ask that you would help me to not discipline out of anger, but rather out of your redemptive love. Help my children to see that I care for them deeply and want them to follow your ways. May they not be rebellious, but submissive to the authority that you have given me. And likewise, I want to be submitted to your authority in my life. I give myself to you. In Jesus name. . . Amen.
Bible Verses
Ephesians 6:1-4
"Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 'Honor your father and your mother.' This is the first of the Ten Commandments that ends with a promise: If you honor your father and mother 'you will live a long life, full of blessing.' And now a word to you fathers. Don't make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord."
Reflecting on God's Word
In verse 4b, what does Paul encourage parents to do for their children?
Does Paul specify as the appropriate kind of discipline and instruction?
Is it possible to do these things void of the "Lord's approval"? How?
A Deeper Exploration of God's Word
Would you make a distinction between "discipline" and "instruction"? If so, how?
Is it possible to "discipline" without making your children angry?
If parents discipline their children as the Lord would have them, should it matter whether the kids are temporarily angry? Why or why not?
Understanding God's Purpose for Us
Is God pleased with parents who fail to discipline their children? Why or why not?
Should whether or not we discipline our children be determined by how the children will feel about us afterward? Why or why not?
Applying God's Word to Our Lives
What methods of discipline do you use with your children? Do they work (do the kids keep repeating the bad behavior)?
How do you feel when you discipline your children?
Does the way you feel when you discipline your children correspond in any way to whether or not your discipline is "approved by the Lord"? If so, how?
Thoughts
In Ephesians 6:4b, Paul commands parents to bring up their children in the "discipline" and "instruction" approved by the Lord. Today we are going to focus on "discipline" approved by the Lord, while tomorrow we are going to look at "instruction" approved by the Lord. It is evident in Ephesians 6:1 that God wants children to obey their parents. But for children, obedience is not natural. Parents do not need to teach their children to disobey – for children it is a natural inclination. As we know children have a will of their own. They want to do their own thing, in fact they will blatantly disobey you if you ask them not to do something. In cases like these, God wants parents to discipline them. Although methods of discipline may vary from time to time, depending on the severity of the disobedience, God still wants parents to discipline their children. This discipline must be done first out of love. For God Himself disciplines those He loves. All discipline that the Lord approves is "redemptive" in nature – it always desires that the children live according the righteousness of God.
Children need to know there is "right" and "wrong" – and that there are consequences for their actions. If a child continually sinned by disobeying their parents, and there were no consequences, the child would never know not to keep disobeying. So discipline is a preventative action to keep children from continuing in bad behavior. True discipline is redemptive, it longs for the child to do what is right and proper and be in right relationship with God and with others. Your children won't like discipline, but if it is done properly, years later they will thank you. Proverbs 23:13-14 states "Don't fail to correct your children. They won't die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death." So we can see that godly discipline will pay itself off in the future – as the child knows that there is wrong – and there are consequences. To those who are parents, I encourage to discipline your children in a way that is approved by the Lord – in a way that leads them to Jesus.